A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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