I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
