Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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