im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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