OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
