I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
