it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just cropdusted the office
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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