He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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