He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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