youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize