the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
