I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
