What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So apparently I’m into choking now
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