She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
