I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
