before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
