nut hugger
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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