we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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