I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She bit a glass in half.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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