so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
