I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
