what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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