It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
