Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need to calm my uterus...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
