I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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