Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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