i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
