go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize