I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
