if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i came on her dog
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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