Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
