Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
