Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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