I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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