We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
