Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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