whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
