so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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