you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
