i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize