I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
