when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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