I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
