Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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