Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
