Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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