Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
