I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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