come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
