I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
