weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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