How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
