Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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