No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize