i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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