frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
