she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Mom said you looked used
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
