She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Randomize
