somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
