Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
