Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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