dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
last night I used snow as a chaser
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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