Screwed.edu
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize