thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
