It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
