Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
