so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
