Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
