I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
