dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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