Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
