addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
