i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Operation Purity has been aborted
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
