i barfeds in our rink
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
