she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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