How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize