Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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