i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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