I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
