My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
